Where is that girl inside of me? That colorful girl I used to be The bohemian artist so full of life, who could sing and write the day away Where is that vigor and unstoppable spirit? The dreams I had so full of promise I was going to run wild and free The world was mine, I had so much time Where are the days when there was not pain When energy was pouring out of me I had so much to do I was going to sing and act I was going to travel I was going to write and create beautiful things and read every book I could handle They are all distant memories of a time long ago Before pain and muddled thoughts were my reality I remember a time when I was respected Not a woman to be rejected By an illness people do not believe is real To be mocked and made fun of by those who you love The stigma is cruel, if they only knew The hours you weep in the long, lonely night While you sit so still, not a sound you ignite Where are my dreams, they have turned so cold I don't even hope, I don't know how to anymore I just try to make it through day by day Hour by hour Minute by minute Hoping each moment may bring, less pain Less ridicule Compassion Love that has been lost to a horrible lot Pain please go away just for a day I want to have quality of some sort Dear God, I pray, are you listening? I sometimes wonder Instead of judgment, could you give me a hug Instead of a lecture, an "I love you" A gift without a catch For I never get a break It would be a kind thing to do It would make my day and though the pain would not go away It would ease some stress, nonetheless Because inside, I am the girl I used to be For she has never gone away, she is safely tucked away Perhaps a miracle, perhaps a cure Perhaps someday, perhaps someday
Your writing is wonderful yet quite sad. It does reflect how so many of us feel day to day. Thank you for sharing. Lynda
Lynda,
Thank you so very much for reading! I have had fibro for 20 years and it had progressed rapidly to the point of disabling me in the last 3 years. My wish is to be a voice for many! I am so glad I can speak for ‘us’! Blessings and keep reading! I plan on continuing to be a voice for all of us! It may not bring a cure, but at least we know we are not alone! Kelli 🙂
This says it ALL!!! I just wished people could understand me & the pain I live with everyday!!! Maybe someday they will understand!!
Thank you so much for reading! Yes, it is so hard not only to be understood but to even have our illness recognized! It truly is an ‘invisible’ condition. Blessings! And I will continue to do my best to let you know, ‘We are not alone’. Kelli 🙂
another beautiful poem and it says it all.. of what we suffer every day 24/7, we get no breaks most the time.. and even if we do they come with repercussions in the days to follow.. {{{gentle hugs}}