Discrimination And The Bully

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Most people think of bullying as a grade school problem. Trust me, bullying in the adult world is alive and well. I have just went through my first out right direct discrimination/bullying towards my disability and it left me flat on my rear for about one day but I got up, brushed myself off, researched my rights and after realizing the things this person said, I did not see the forest for the trees. Remember this, when someone talks about others behind their back, he/she is also going to be talking about you too!

I am not sure how many people reading this have had anyone ‘make fun’ of their condition but as many of my regular readers know, one of my tangible conditions is severe cervical stenosis (pressure on the spine) on every level of the c spine (c-1 through T-1). Like a garden hose with running water, my spine is that garden hose and it has ‘kinks’ in it. When the kinks get even worse for bits my hands give ‘out’ and I drop things; a lot. This person made fun of that all the time. They would go on and on about how I dropped things. I explained it was from the stenosis and not something I could help. Thank God I never took one of my famous ‘down with no warning’ falls. I am quite sure I would have never heard the end of that. And then there was my eyes. Now I realize this has nothing to do with my fibro but this person also talked over and over about what ‘crazy’ eyes I have. I have steel green eyes. Jet black hair and steel green eyes are an unusual combination, I admit. However, one cannot help their DNA. Alas, discrimination and bullying is alive and well in the ‘grown up’ world. Here is a poem regarding my experience. This is dedicated to anyone and everyone that has been discriminated against and/or bullied. You are worthy and wonderful! Do not let anyone ever make you feel less than the beautiful, wonderful unique creation that God made:

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The Hero Is Dead, A Bully Was All Along

It takes a lot to become a hero in my eyes
Not a small thing, for this is true
One must be extraordinary, kind and gentle of soul
Respectful and Caring, too

When a person in my life is promoted from friend to hero
It is a compliment of the highest regard
It says that person is upstanding and honorable, thinks of others before their own self
They do not act with disregard

Sadness befalls when a hero dies
It means something went terribly wrong
How could I not see this person for who he really is?
How could I not see underneath that pretend charm?

This is no hero, but a bully
A child is more mature
A grown up who cannot handle an honest question?
It was not even intended as an insult but something I wanted to improve

True colors come bursting like lightning
When the bully comes showing through the rage
Cannot act like a grown up
Cannot talk like a man
Has to act like we are in the first grade

The hero came tumbling like a house of cards
Over something so small, so obscure
Something any adult should be able to talk about
Most children would have had this issue resolved and be on the path of renew

The hero is gone, the bully arrived
Now games he is playing like a child of five
So sad, so pathetic, so far from who I knew
No hero, just a bully; I should have seen it coming through

He made fun of my eyes, said they were weird and wild, He made fun of the fact that I dropped things from my hands, hardly something I can help

My eyes are the result of DNA, something I cannot help and would not change if I could

The things I drop? Pressure on my spine;  what kind of person makes fun of a disability? When he laughed, I cried, inside
I should have seen it coming
But as a trusting person, I tried to give way
The bully was there
I just would not admit it
Until the day I saw his rage

Paranoia abounds! But it is not I the bully should fear If he only knew it is those he does not know that must be feared
Cut off from the world, so afraid of everyone
Gonna take on the world with an attitude and a gun
The bully emerges and pushes everyone and if you don’t behave, you will be PUSHED! To the ground!

It is sad but true because this person I knew
Was a friend a hero too but is only a sad bully I once knew
I tried to ask a question, like any grown up can do
And took the wrath of the inner bully’s hack
And was shot down, by the inner child’s frown
Now watch out, or the bully will cut you down
And the hero, there never was, because the bully was just waiting to emerge.

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This post is dedicated to all victims of bullying: ages one to one hundred and one. Remember, NEVER let ANYONE tell you that you are *anything* less that ‘____’ perfect! The bullies of this world will get their pay in due time. Karma takes care of everyone in time and everyone has to answer to God or what you believe to the the Higher power in due time.

****Because sometimes it just ‘fits’, the following version of Pink’s “Perfect” is *NOT* the clean version. If the ‘f’ word offends you, you may want to skip watching this video. I love Pink and what she has done for people (be who you are!) and music! This song is *perfect* …. no pun intended…. for those who have suffered at the hands of a bully! Remember, you… are…. perfect. Do not let the “Scott Farkus’s” (“A Christmas Story”) of this world get you down because we all know what little Ralphie finally did when he ‘had enough’ 😉  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSDZCK3PKKw

And I found this little British doozie… very good, probably attended more for younger people getting bullied, BUT when the older act like the younger … it is all so clear now! How could I not have seen it!

Some lyrics……

(Hey Jessica, you’re so funny
You’ve got teeth just like Bugs Bunny)…. insert, “Hey, Kelli, you have the weirdest, strangest eyes I have ever seen! They are wild eyes… wild.” and “You always drop stuff… you keep dropping your ____from your hands”  (please note I cannot help my DNA … eye color… the I drop things constantly from the pressure on my spine from severe stenosis, so it is making fun of someone with a physical impairment…. and at times I had to hold back tears!).

More lyrics……

But thank you for the pain
It made me raise my game
And I’m still rising, I’m still rising….

So make your jokes
Go for broke
Blow your smoke
You’re not alone
But who’s laughing now
But who’s laughing now

Song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mH6z98n83WI

Until next time, K.

2 thoughts on “Discrimination And The Bully

  1. I was bullied all through my childhood because of the clothes my mother made me wear & just for my weak personality & low self esteem. I find myself being bullyed even today as a middle-aged woman. Thanks for sharing your story, Kelli. Good for you!!!

    • You are so welcome. I felt compelled to share because I thought, “You know, if this is happening to me, you know, it must be happening to others too”. It amazes me how even a 52 year old man can still be in that mindset. Sadly, it is even more distressing to see people side with him after knowing not just what he did to you, but what he said about them. It is just like school…. folding to side with the bully. Luckily this bully does not know quite who he took on. I do not take things lying down because people that are so low as to laugh at a person with spinal stenosis… well that is all kinds of messed up. We with chronic pain have it hard enough. We do not need bullying, lies, rumors and harassment on top of everything else!

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