My Long and Arduous Fight For Disability Part 1

In January of 2011 when I was called in by my supervisor and HR supervisor of “Liberty Medical” to be told I had exhausted every last second of my FMLA time and my job was terminated, I was almost relieved. I knew I was on borrowed time for quite a good while. The rumors had been flying throughout my team about me already. I was late nearly, if not every day. I was given special breaks to walk off sitting for too long. However, I could not walk too long either. I had numerous bouts of IBS sometimes taking me off the phones up to ten times an hour for three hours straight. Once the twenty or so Imodium I swallowed kicked in (only to be followed by horrific constipation a few days later), it sometimes slowed it down….. with 1/2 the day being interrupted by bathroom breaks. To make it worse, I was having frequent asthma attacks and having to be pulled off the phone at a moments notice. Both my main supervisor and co-leader knew the sound of my bellowing cough that meant one thing: I could not breathe. 911 was almost called more times than I can count and honestly likely would have been if I had not been so stubborn…. and embarrassed.  There were also a lot of people that got upset…. thinking I got preferred treatment. What they did not know was each and every time I signed off my phone I was OFF the clock. Was it a horrific arrangement for the person doing payroll? Yes. However, for them to keep one of the top cross sellers and ‘most compliments received’ team members… which include a hand written letter by the wife of a Congressman, it was unconventional, but worked. Until I ran out of time.  When my Doctor filled out the form for unemployment, after my termination: “Cannot Work”, my quest for my SSD (Disability Benefits) began. In fact it was more than that, she deemed me as “Disabled”. Thus began my journey in what I have known to be the most unfair, ridiculous and frustrating experience of my life: Our Social Security Disability and how it ‘deems’ one disabled is broken, and that is an understatement. Little did I know that 3 1/2 years later and 100 times sicker than I ever was then, I would still be fighting and have pulled both my Congressman and the President of the United States into my battle to get what I have payed into all these years; disability benefits, should I be unable to work.

I am not a freeloader, malingerer or looking for an ‘easy way out’. I simply, cannot work. I wish I could. I loved working. But the simple fact is, I can barely get myself through the day let alone show up for a job each day. I am rarely to never on time for anything. It is the nature of my many beasts also known as Fibromyalgia and my other medical issues.  It took typing out my list of “Medical Conditions” to wake me up to how sick I really am. It is 4 pages long; 12 point font typing. No matter how you slice it, I am: DISABLED.

disability1I don’t think people who judge my situation realize, when this is all said and done, I will only be receiving a bit over $600 a month…. along with Medicare. However, that is enough to get us from ‘struggling’ to ‘barely making it’. I do not feel it is ‘owed to me’…. such as a lazy way of not working. I did pay into this system like all people do, however, and it is ‘insurance’ should you become unable to work. I cannot hold any job. I do not see there being any chance of a job opening with my skill sets: ‘some college’ and who will be calling in at least 5-7 days per month, late nearly (if not every) day, need 10 bathroom breaks a day at least 3 hours a day at least two days of the work week, need two 10 minute breaks an hour because I cannot sit too long. Of course I cannot stand for long either (meaning a standing job is out). If someone with a foggy brain who drops 1/2 of everything they pick up with all other of these issues is OK, well bring it on. However, we all know there is nothing out there for someone like me. Nor should there be. No employer should pay someone to be sick on their clock.. Any judge that cannot see I am 100% disabled is not fit to wear the robe he or she has worked to obtain. The first judge that ruled against my case said I could do one job: assemble things. Really? On what planet? I cannot even put a necklace on (Paul has to fasten it), put silverware up without dropping 1/2 of it or go through the day without dropping 50% of everything I pick up. Recently I dropped my new smart phone (free for re-contracting). It shattered and it cost $140.00 to repair.

I drop at least 50% of everything I pick up each and everyday. Recently I dropped my new cell phone and it was $140.00 to repair. We got a good cover for it and it has been dropped several times sense. My hands 'go out' with no notice and when my legs do, I fall. SHAME ON THIS JUDGE! On what planet am I capable of assembling anything.... provided I would get to work on time, everyday and not have to take two-three breaks an hour and go on 30 bathroom breaks in a 3 hour period at least 2 mornings a week.Unemphatic, clueless and having a problem with me does not even begin to describe it. There is NO doubt in my mind if I were to get him again, he would not be fair or impartial.

I drop at least 50% of everything I pick up each and everyday. Recently I dropped my new cell phone and it was $140.00 to repair. We got a good cover for it and it has been dropped several times sinse. My hands ‘go out’ with no notice and when my legs do, I fall. SHAME ON THIS JUDGE! On what planet am I capable of assembling anything…. provided I would get to work on time, everyday and not have to take two-three breaks an hour and go on 30 bathroom breaks in a 3 hour period at least 2 mornings a week. Unempathetic, clueless and having a problem with me does not even begin to describe it. There is NO doubt in my mind if I were to get him again, he would not be fair or impartial.

As most people know my first hearing was denied. Even though I had the backing of ALL my Doctors (gee, you would think they know a thing or two, right?), and an MRI showing my neck is a trainwreck, he said I could assemble. WHAT? Ok, that is like saying a person without arms can cross stitch. I was clumsy before my neck started compressing my spine. Clumsy is not even a word that touches what I am now. I have ruined more eggs (dropping them), had heads of lettuce go rolling across a parking lot and many other like stories. When I say my hands and legs give out, I mean they just give out and I am down on the ground or whatever I  am holding is dropped. It is like a hose with a kink and the water pressure stopping or getting cut to nothing.

Because of this mean, horrible man, I am now entering 3 1/2 years of fighting for my disability. Would I rather be working? Hell yeah, I would!!!!! But when I say there is not one single job I can do, I mean that with all I am. Today alone I have had an IBS flare. I feel like I have been sucker punched in the gut. I have ‘gone’ at least 15 times and have taken 20 Imodium. It is miserable and it is my life. When I say my health dictates my life, I am not exaggerating. I am a prisoner to my body. If I am lucky, I get 2-3 hours sleep a night and then crash for about 14 hours from sheer exhaustion. Suicide? I would be lying if I say I have not entertained the notion. However my husband and my Grandbabies keep me going. JudgeEvilSo the good news is I get my case re heard. The absolutely devastating news…. it is the same judge. No! How can this be? Is this some sick, cruel joke? I am doing everything I can do to make sure a different judge hears this or even asking for a change of venue….. I have NO faith in this man. None. I was totally disabled when he ruled unfavorable. I am in hopeless and so much worse shape now. But he has an ‘issue’ with me and I will NOT be in the 36% again or Paul will collapse from having to work so many jobs to keep us afloat. Roanoke Disability Court, you will make this right and I will fight with all I have to make sure it is set right. I have no faith in you as it is. If I get this guy, you might as well sign unfavorable right then and there as I don’t know what his problem is with me, but it is quite evident.

Almost four years…… I am livid! This is beyond a miscarriage of justice and I am doing my best NOT to handle this in self destructive way. I have some ideas but my gut is in such bad shape, my Blood Pressure was up at the Dr appointment I had this morning and I am a mess. My long and arduous fight for what is right…. my disability…. will not be blown sky high by an unfair judge. They will make this right, after all, I have rights too. So here I go…. lets see if my rights are respected. I will post every few days and post smaller blogs in the days leading up to this. We shall see if I completely lose faith in our legal system or if it is restored. I will know in a few weeks. Until next time, K.

unfairjustice

6 thoughts on “My Long and Arduous Fight For Disability Part 1

  1. This is beyond outrageous. Just further proof of how some people have NO business what so ever being in these positions of power they are in. I am shocked and disgusted for you. Please know I keep praying and I will help you fight! Love you!

  2. Thanks Jenn. If justice is served and if there is an OUNCE of fairness in him, there is NO WAY he can go any other way. There is NO WAY I can work. Just my IBS on its own is proof of that. Then add the 30+ other ‘bigger and badder’ issues…. including what I am likely to find out I have this autumn, once I get insurance,and well, there is only one decision.Love you too <3

  3. After reading your blog I was hoping to know the outcome of your hearing. I have all of your symptoms and more. After 4 years of denials I hired binder & binder and won my case in 6 months!!! Call them asap!!!!! You only have 5 years to get your ssdi, hurry!!!!!

    • Hi Terri! I am glad you won your case. My hearing went very well and we are *very* optimistic. I will officially announce the outcome and write a post on my experience when I get the decision in about 30 days. We feel very good about this one though. Stay tuned! 🙂

  4. I wish you the best!! I guess I was one of the lucky ones. I got a positive decision in 3 months. I had to see one of their Disability doctors and I knew I failed the exam miserably! I have many medical conditions. I think you will be hearing something positive also!! I too would much rather work. I miss it, but I am starting to adjust to my new life! The sad part is my husband became disabled 6 years ago. My income was supposed to be the main income. Well, sometimes things don’t happen the way we want it to!! I’m grateful that I wake up every morning. I don’t have many good days, but that’s ok. I’m still here to enjoy my family!! Best of luck to you. Please let us know the outcome.

    • I am glad you got your decision quickly. Being Christian, I do see where God’s timing is at work in this. I will touch on that in my latest post. I am confident even those who are spiritual, etc can appreciate the universe and its wisdom on timing. So stay tuned! It is coming. Blessings to you and your husband! You truly are one of the blessed ones as most people do not get it first go around. Have a great day! 🙂

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