Has It Ever Been Implied That You Are Drug Seeking?

drseek1I am part Italian on my Mother’s side. Albeit, she was not raised by her biological Mom from age 6, the Italian blood runs deep. I am sure this does not help that while I am usually “sweet and easy going”. when I have had enough of something….. like a smug pharmacist, I blow like Mount Vesuvius. Life with Fibromyalgia and other chronic pain conditions are difficult enough, but to have a major upheaval in your life, one car to share, a husband working upwards of 50- 60+ hours a week and still fighting for your disability 38 months after applying, the last thing you need is a Pharmacist not willing to work with your overworked husband, one car family or telling you when or if you finally get to go on a trip and your refill is due in the ‘middle of a vacation/ trip’ (if that were to happen), you have to have it transferred, “ONLY OPTION!”. Excuse me? “Certain meds can only be transferred once! So I transfer it to ‘wherever’ and leave it?”.  “That is your only option” he shrugs. One thing is for certain, he has those eyes… and I have known for a long, long time……. he sees me as a ‘drug seeker’. Nothing in this world makes me more angry than to be labeled as something I simply am….. not.

I have never had any problems with any pharmacist anywhere and save for one girl at this pharmacy that I do not consider ‘overly friendly’; she is just not a ‘happy person’, everyone else there seems pleasant and respectful. I will ignore the time I walked up, heard my name, someone saw me, gave eye contact to the other employees and the conversation quickly diverted. This is what I get for adhering to a strict pain contract? It is not always easy. At 3 AM when NOTHING is helping and the entire world around you sleeps (except trash collectors in the distance…. my how sound travels). But I do it! I do pill counts…. with Paul… at least once a week. I pre count my meds out into my ‘old person pill keeper’. Doing it right simply is not enough. Most of the time, because of Paul’s hectic schedule, I simply cannot get in the exact day it expires. Many times I call in a day or two early…. I have even OVERSHOT IT because I have had pills left over. I know without a doubt that never gets noticed. Nope! Many of ‘us’ have and will be labeled as drug seekers, sooner or later.drseek3

 Respect? No. I most certainly do not have that. At least not from certain people. Now my Doctor’s ‘get me’ and ‘get it’. They know my story. They have seen the scans and test results and they know my history. In fact my pain management Doctor is ‘surprised’ I am getting the relief I am with the low doses of medication I am on. Does that sound like someone ‘pushing the envelope’ of oblivion seeking? Let me tell all well people reading this a little secret. NOTHING helps. You could take every pain pill in the world, line them up in order and give me the strongest one in line in a double or even triple dose and it will not make all the pain go away.The pain ever goes away. The intense pressure on my spine from 2 herniated discs and severe Stenosis (along with a full laundry list of other issues) along with the Fibromyalgia and  hands down, always, the pain will win. In fact when in hospital with my last three surgeries; one emergency surgery and two elective), it was the NON NARCOTIC Toradol shots that sped past my morphine pump and tapered off the ‘break through’ pain. If they could put Toradol in a patch, I am in! It is what I take at the ER every few months to break up stubborn cervical muscle spasms. No euphoria. No ‘high’. But my, what a heat seeking little wonder this mega NSAID is! If Toradol had a fan club, I would be the President!drseek4So what do you do when you are labeled or it is being insinuated that you are drug seeking? Well, you can blow like Mount Vesuvius like I did to the smug pharmacist who will not listen to a person and what their life is like and why they cannot come in on certain days. I am NOT a person to him, I am someone he can control. I have been around enough judgmental control freaks in my life to know one when I meet one. Honestly, they gave a very sweet lady pharmacist in there and if I had it my way, she would be the head pharmacist. She has a heart!
You can issue a complaint. There is a phone call in my afternoon…. waiting and ready to happen.
I suggest their immediate district manager and if they back their guy and do not listen, call the CEO of the company. I have done it many times in various instances……. both good and bad. This will usually get your somewhere…..especially if you bring in a lot of business for the store.

No matter what, however, I am now glad he knows that I know what he thinks of me. He is judging me yet does he for one moment understand my life? No. Anyone that says ‘Too bad if the script runs out…. nothing we can do’ when looking at having your first small vacation in 9 years; that is not a person with feelings. That is a person that is heartless, judgmental and worse, does not give a rats backside about the patients he serves. Honestly? I think he would do better seeking a new career. As for me, I work too hard to make sure I stay as low as I can and to the book on my meds to have someone like him label me. Let the process of ball rolling begin. I am so done with people like him! Karma….. karma is a lovely lady and someday he will need compassion and understanding and find no one wants to extend it to him.

If you have not yet checked out my You Tube Video on Suicide Awareness for Fibromyalgia, here is the link!


Until next time, K.drseeking1aaaa

8 thoughts on “Has It Ever Been Implied That You Are Drug Seeking?

  1. You sound like me my friend. I have the same crap with my pharmacist and it really gets me at times. I believe they don’t have a clue what we go thru on a daily basis. Stay strong my friend

    • Thanks Paul! It is frustrating to be looked at like I am somehow scum. I have a HIPPA violation I have been ‘keeping’ tucked away to use in case I needed to. I am using it now.

  2. Oh man, this is a biggie for me! I get sick and tired of being treated like a drug seeker and unfortunately for me, I live in the number 1 state for prescription drug abuse and the number 2 town in that state for prescription drug abuse. It’s sad that what has gotten us to this point is the idiots that sell their pain meds. It’s sad that here and I’m sure in other areas, pain management clinics were popping up on every corner. Now I feel like my care is dictated by the DEA instead of being handled by my doctor. My doctor’s hands are totally tied. He is giving me the MAX he can give me and it still doesn’t help.

    Like you said above and I can so relate, we get “the look” and the judgemental thoughts and attitudes. It’s horrible. You’re already feeling terrible and then you are being judged and the person standing there in judgement of you doesn’t know that just standing up in the morning takes everything in you, going to the bathroom sometimes and the act of simply sitting down on a toilet makes you want to scream out in pain, some days you can’t dress yourself and it feels like your spine is going to snap in two. Or how if you try to keep your house clean or at least even straightened up, it takes everything in you to do one little chore and then you pay for it for 2 days by not being able to move. How about the days where it feels like somebody is following you around smashing all of your joints with a sledge hammer? It’s horrible. I don’t know what it’s going take to change these attitudes. I read every day in the paper of people being arrested for dealing in prescription drugs and that doesn’t help us really. These people will just find another way. This whole thing is just sad. At least we have each other <3

  3. I know Jenn. And I tell ya, I do not have to be a mind reader to know what he and some of the people ‘think’ there. Geeeesh….. if they saw me at home and had a camera and watched me sit up all night until 5 30 AM… oh, if they only knew. But karma…. karma is a lovely lady and she will spill her justice someday. 🙂 I know it! And of course if the district manager backs them, I will go to the CEO. I have this HIPPA violation tucked away, so…….

  4. Over the years, many doctors who believed their pain patients have gotten “The Look” from other doctors and even from state and federal regulators. Some have even been barred from medical practice for simply refusing to give their pain patients “The Look” and have opted to try to relieve suffering. I think the underlying problem is simply an attempt to criminalize a group of people affected by the disease of chronic pain. It is certainly more difficult to treat people with chronic pain than it used to be.

    I do not have any direct connection to the survey about opioid use, but it may be one way for people to voice the concern that it is not right to wrongfully label someone for something they have not done.

    Here is the link, if it is allowed to go through:


    • Thank you so very much for posting this! I and I am sure all who read this appreciate it. The odd thing is, I am on a super low dose of an opiate with Tramadol and Savella. I mostly need the low dose of the opiate (and it is about as low as it can be) because I have such severe damage in my neck…. stenosis, 2 disc herniation’s and a laundry list that is so extensive only *one* orthopedic surgeon will take my case, in this area of about 500,000 (with Virginia Tech’s medical school headquarters here). I hurt like the dickens from Fibro, but the Savella is pretty good at getting a good portion of that, unless I am in a flare. It is my neck that is so, so, OH so painful. When I go to the Emergency Room, the first words out of my mouth are, “I am not here for opiate medications, in fact I refuse them”. Yet at times I am still treated like a back ally junkie. I know so many wonderful, terrific people who hurt. They are not drug addicts, they just HURT so, so bad. I have known a few who take the drugs to the limit but they are the exception…. NOT the rule. Again, thank you… THANK YOU! 🙂

  5. Once I was in so much pain and the GP would not even give me anything. I realized he thought I was just seeking painkillers. I had to change to a different GP> Luckily I did as I then went on to get a proper diagnosis.

  6. Good for you! As I stated in the previous blog post, finding Dr’s that care and will spend time with us is a difficult, but worthwhile undertaking. I am so glad you found the right Dr and hope your pain levels are as low as possible. Thank you for reading!

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